Crazy Night: An Evening with the ACEs

Have you been in a point in your life when you felt absolutely sure that you are exactly where you should be? Have you ever experienced being so aggravated in a week and suddenly, after making a choice, everything turns in an upward spiral in the next? I have. I believe I just realized this last night. (November 20, 2010)

You know, last week, everything felt like an uphill struggle. As I was so depressed loosing one of my regular students (for a good cause), I felt so dumb and empty. I felt rejected and inadequate not just because I'll have to loose a regular payer but rather that would mean a major MAJOR change in my schedule, my routine. I was on a dilemma on how to squeeze my schedule uptight and make time for my beau especially that he'll have to be based in some other place for work very soon as he'll be transferring to another airline, in addition to the thought of the peak season with crazy flight schedules~ which could possibly mean, "lesser time to least time together". As I anticipated a fee that week, hoping I get to earn an allowance for my travel as well as an amount for my mom and brother, at the spur of a moment, my plans were shattered~ and when I say this, I meant it! Moreover, although I already filed a vacation leave, I got an additional workload which is due on the supposedly date of my departure. But you know what greatly hindered me, it's the guilt that I will be spending on spree and enjoying out there while neglecting my responsibilities at work and family(because I didn't have extra money to send them). I could have been in Cebu City since last Thursday up to this point, enjoying the sceneries, having fun with Jelly Anne, Aya, and Kat, getting the break I deserve, and escaping the life in the hilarious metro~ if not for cancelling my flight and other rolling reasons I didn't make up but probably revealed by the Lord to me. I regret not having to spend time with them (I miss my friends so much!) and missing the opportunity of exploring the wonders of Cebu. There are tons of unforeseen circumstances but I'm dying to get to the point! Might as well say that it's a blessing in disguise! Well, "our ways are not His ways", right?

Obedience is a manifestation of great love. I prayed so many nights for my highly anticipated vacation. The Lord answered indeed in the manner I least expected. I guess, we'll never ever fathom Him~ truly, He maneuvers life in mysterious ways. well, what can I do, all the downturns that occured last week simply indicated that I needed to obey Him. He doesn't want me to go, not yet.

Last night was one of the best date nights ever! It was like hitting multiple birds with one stone, I'd say. Vic and I attended the Annual Philippine Air Force ACEs Awards Night and Testimonial Dinner at Manila Hotel Ballroom.

It was splendid! Seeing the pilots from the Air Force on their Barong Tagalog, coat-and-tie, and tuxedos accompanied by their best dressed ladies felt like being in a Mission Impossible movie setting~ and of course, I'm with my "Tom Cruise". For the first time in my entire existence, I got to take part in a momentous event when I'd have the opportunity to meet and mingle with the frontiers of the National Defense. The sparkling chandeliers and the good music made up the best ambience while our conversations with his classmates and the ladies resounded like songs to my ear.

What struck me was seeing the Man behind all the transformations of this country today~ President Benigno "PNoy" Aquino III~ who was the Honorary Guest of the night and who gave very striking remarks. He stood tall before all men and he appeared as neat and serene as he is on television. He doesn't really look on his 50's. I admired t he gentleman most when he begun his speech. I didn't even realize that he was glancing on an outline. I'd say he's one of the best speakers I've ever witnessed. He seemed so articulate (using Filipino), uses a good diction blended with incredible humor, the transition was so smooth, and most of all he connects very well with his audience. In fairness to him, his stance and approach, can both be effective to the "masa" and even to the elite. To me, he seemed like a royalty (literally).

His words "Kayo ang BOSS ko...Sama- sama tayo sa pag arangkada tungo sa matuwid at patag na paliparan..." suit the occasion most. The analogy was perfect! Unlike the other leaders I've heard, he never sounded so bragging or boastful. As he pointed out the present administration's accomplishments and goals for this nation, he was so objective. I can see the sincerity in its simplicity. Honestly, I never thought that he'd be like that as I used to believe that his sister Kris Aquino inherited all the charm and ability of their parents. I guess I underestimated him. He got the wisdom and ability of his parents~ Late Senator Benigno "Ninoy" Aquino and former President Corazon "Cory" Aquino. I was indeed inspired. Truly, he is a leader Filipinos can look up to.

The speech was succeeded by the Awarding of Plaques and Recognition to the ACEs (pilots) who actively or formerly served the Air Force and those who exhibited exemplary performances at their respective airlines. Then came the moment we all looked forward to~ DINNER! The food was delectable! I indulged in smoked salmon and salad for the starter while I had lamb with spinach and baked potato for the main course. The dessert was tempting but I couldn't enjoy it due to my dentures... too bad. Well, I wish I could have taken more photos to entice you but I just couldn't do such in an event like that. Well, I'll leave the rest to your imagination. (",)

Laughters, conversations, and pictorials~ I'll never get enough of these!For such a long time, I didn't experience hardened jaws from too much laughing and striking poses since the last time I hang out with my friends! Whew! Being with Vic's classmates and their wives took me back to my college days when get to giggle endlessly and take countless memories through photography. I guess I'm back to the narcissistic days! I just totally enjoyed the night conversing with them, meeting new people especially those who have been a part of my beau's life way back PAF days and up to today, and letting myself absorb the music! I believe this is what expanding the horizon feels like. It never felt any better than this. Who would've thought that a small town girl like me would go through this?(",)

Well I guess, last night marked the day of my

initiation to the "real society", aye? I'm glad to have found new friends and acquaintances and to be a part of an important event in a special person's life. I don't just like being in social events nor putting on my best dress, but I love being with ordinary people who live extraordinary lives. I'm not after the connection but for the wisdom that I might gain even from simple conversations. I thought I didn't fit in, but I guess I was wrong. I felt exactly right where I should be. Truly, it's a once-in- a- lifetime experience that I will surely mark on my calendar. Indeed! It was a crazy night with the ACEs!

Of course, I would like to say "THANK YOU" for patiently reading this lengthy note. I am just so inspired right now and I didn't want to let anything jump out of my memory without blogging them. I guess I'll never learn how to write briefly, not today, and maybe not for many years to come. Haha!

Lastly, just a few words before I sign- out. Never forget that the Lord orchestrates life in a manner we want them to but rather in ways pleasing to Him. Remember, He created us for His own pleasure. Obeying Him means loving Him. If you feel so distant because you didn't get what you want then you started doubting Him, think again. I can attest that He does things for your best interest. It might not be the one you anticipated, but if you only trust Him with your life and see the big picture, you'll realize that it is for your own good. As much as we all love to have plans, nothing really beats spontaneity and risk- taking. Life is short. Don't let fear and anxiety overwhelm you for you'll never know what a good life is if you do.

(NOTE: Feel free to browse my album in FB for the photos. OH!!! Before I could forget, do you wanna know what happened to the rest of the blunders that occured last week? Well, watch out for my next post...! )

Be blessed!

ciao!

(",)

PENCIL PRINCIPLE

"I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine."

~ Ephesians 3:20

Today, I saw a middle- aged man (foreigner) sitting across me on a jeepney as I was hurling my way to catch my 8:00 work shift. For a second I thought he was a complete stranger, then suddenly realizing that he was the same person I sat beside with on a ride yesterday morning. Thinking about the probability of seeing the same person, at the same circumstance, at the same time of the day is one in a million in this huge metropolis. I didn’t intend to glare at him but I noticed that in his cool stature reflects a serene nature. As he was wearing a black shirt, a print of a large pencil with some writings overlapping it caught my attention. As I stared at the prints, I recalled the “Pencil Principle” I’ve learned way back in high school.

According to the shirt’s statement, LIFE, being likened to a pencil, revolves in these 5 principles: 1. there is something good in you; 2. you have to be sharpened in order to live; 3. In case of mistakes, you are provided with an eraser; 4. Remember that somebody is holding you; 5. you have to leave a mark.

Looking back on my traces, principles 2-5-4 struck me in one way or another. Moreover, the second notion─ ’You have to be sharpened in order to live’─ appealed like an arrow striking my memory. Truly, the Lord orchestrates events in our lives in manner like an ‘iron which sharpens iron’. I’d say that I wouldn’t survive this rat race if not for the series of circumstances and storms I went through. This goes to say that an era of testing in a person’s journey is made to establish a sense of purpose, build one’s character, and equip with knowledge and wisdom.

Just this morning, I got a call from someone I anticipated. As I was listening to the voice over the other line, tears roll down my cheeks. I’d say it’s not tears of joy (Uh uh…No no and never would I ever believe in such an irony!). I tried to be as enthusiastic this morning as I could because I want to be happy, I want to enjoy life. Yet, as my special caller reiterated his itinerary, I was hurt. I am happy for the Lord has answered our prayers but I am AFRAID of the FUTURE of this relationship. Then, I convinced myself to just maintain my spirit and trust in the Lord. I said to myself that I didn’t really ask for this, not exactly this, or so I thought. Learning my lesson, I realized that this might be the best answer for my prayer. Truly, every unfortunate event that occurs in a lifetime is not mere accident or coincidence, but is intentionally designed to discipline and better us. Like a piece of masterpiece created by a painter and a work of art that stood the test of time, we are like a pencil. This leads me to my second point.

Leaving a legacy is like having a vision materialized. The footsteps we leave behind are the ones that our audience or spectators will either utilize as a guiding mirror. Like a pencil made to mark on a surface, we will all leave a print. Yet, I strongly believe that material pursuits should NEVER be our driving force in life nor doing good works nor dominating the world of fame. Followers of Christ are made to produce fruits as a result of being saved. Thus, doing good works in order to saved is a different story.

Surely, our destination will depend upon the direction we are heading as our legacy depends upon the path we take in life. The question is, “How do you want to be remembered?” If for the moment you are so absorbed by this mind- bugging query, then, you are not doing it right. My point is, “We all have nothing to prove, but everything to improve.” We are not born to please men but made to do the will of the Father. In a decade or two, when we’re laid on the grave, people will not really remember what we did, nor how famous or rich we are, nor how we influenced others in our time. For a moment, people may praise or admire you, but when your candle stops burning, everything changes. This is the reality─ no one lives forever on this earth, not our memories, not our worldly traces. On the other hand, if there’s one person who would never forget what we’ve done, it is the Lord. Life is short indeed. Like a pencil that goes little by little with constant cutting or sharpening, we all must die someday. Let’s not waste our chances for regrets and temporal dealings. Besides, we only have one life to live. Let’s spend it wisely.

Attributing this post to the one who gave me the ability to write, I conform to the 4^th principle─ “Remember that somebody’s holding you.” Putting it in the life’s context, it’s not just a mere ‘somebody somewhere’ kind of thing, it is the Lord our God taking over our entire being. Like an artist holding his pen, we all have to be patient with what we see and experience because we are all a ‘work in progress’. Unlike a pencil that doesn’t have the capacity to choose its holder, we are given the freedom to either be on His side or opt to go against Him. We are all called to be His children, and yet not ALL will respond positively to Him. This is the reality as is written in the Scriptures. This is one decision that we ought to make, not tomorrow, next month, next year, but rather TODAY.

We may not be sure who’ll play a part in His army, but one thing is certain, “NOTHING is IMPOSSIBLE with Him.” As King David pens in Psalm 37:4 “Delight yourself in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.” the Lord surely answers prayers in ways we can never fathom but certainly for our best because He loves us.*

LONG SUFFERING

November 9, 2010

Do you know the difference between joy and happiness?

Last Sunday, Uncle Jerome was invited to share the Gospel to an elderly couple and their family. He tersely explained the seemingly vague conditions by saying: “Happiness depends upon the happenings or circumstances that a person is in. On the other hand, joy is an intrinsic condition that radiates despite the whirlwind of life and which can be achieved only when one has the Lord in him.” I strongly agree with his definition.

I’m not sure whether I woke up at the wrong side of the bed or that I’m a bit depressed about something abstract that twirled my mood possibly because the “Red days” are about to elapse. One thing undeniably is going on, “I’m not happy’. As I read through a blog post of one of my favorite writers last night, I found myself stuck on the reality that “…Our ways are NOT His ways.”

Honestly, I am disappointed. In as much as I want to feel good and that I ought to influence others to feel the same way too, this morning I told myself to ‘stop rationalizing’ and just allow myself to sink on this natural emotion for once in my life! Maybe I expect too much of myself as much as I deprive myself to be weak for a moment. Just now, I am lulled with the idea to “cry if I must.” Yet, part of me dominantly stirs me to “hold still and never quit”. As I constantly remind myself to remain patient, the more I feel like being flipped on the wrong side of the river bank.

Clearly, I’m upset…and afraid of what lies ahead of US. The thought of being away from the person who matters a lot to me chills me out to the bones. Maybe this is what ‘fear of the unknown is like’. When I think about the fact that I wouldn’t be with this person for quite some time, I feel like doubting whether we’re going to survive the distance, the circumstance. I’ve been through this last year, but I believe this ride is going to get bumpier. It’s funny when every day I pray to the Lord to bless him more and now that He’s answered it, the more I am saddened. What an irony indeed! Maybe this is just because I wasn’t expecting this kind of response from Him. Truly, we can never fathom Him, never. But the Scriptures clearly say “Delight yourself in Me and I will give you the desires of your heart.” He also stressed that “All things work together for good to those who love Me.” Who am I to defy His will?

As that day comes nearer every single day, the more I feel like quitting prior to avoid experiencing the same pain that I went through a year ago. This is just life, the nooks and crannies of life. In reality, no matter how we persistently choose to be happy, we just can’t get everything we want and not all at once. As the song “Overboard by Justin Bieber and Jessica Jarell” resounds in my ear as I pen my thoughts, I convince myself that “If it’s meant to be it will be”. Truly, love is unconditional. It is patient and kind. No matter how hard I try to defy, I end up submitting to His will for me and my relationship. That’s just how the Lord loves His children─ the more we run, the more He pursues us. The truth is that, we can never get away from His embrace as much as we can never walk away from this journey called life. No matter how hard I try to keep someone close to me, it’ll never happen, why? Simple. ‘It is not His way’.

The way I see it, I’ll always end up losing every time I nurture this silly thought. I know it’ll be tougher real soon but as I end this note, I commit myself to just trust in His will for me and my relationship. Truly, He knows best. I am afraid. I am so afraid that I might lose myself and him in this struggle and endeavor, but I will never quit. NEVER. If this is the price of obedience and submitting to His will, let it be. Besides, He gave up His life for me so that I will gain new life and no sacrifice on my behalf can ever repay what He has done for me on the Cross. This is not just merely a difficult decision or a complicated undertaking, it is IMPOSSIBLE. Yet, I will obey Him because I love Him. I understand that it is only when I take up my cross and totally rely on Him that I am able to withstand this trial.

I am reminded that I can never survive this on my own and I need Him. As I close, I want YOU (reader) to know that it is only the Lord who can turn any trial into triumph. It is by obedience to His will that we are able to manifest our LOVE for Him. Our world may twist and turn, flip and flop, stumble and fall; we may get disappointed with all else, but it is only through Him that we attain joy and peace. This is long suffering.*

Spending a Superb Long Weekend!

I guess I couldn't just let this night slip without having to pen all that have transpired the past three days. I've been 'waiting' so long to post something new here and I'm realizing that I've been pushing myself too hard to compose something--- even if I don't feel like it. I bet, what I really needed was a moment of 'spontaneity', seizing the minute, enjoying it, be exhilarated, and just allow myself to drown for a time--- do it!--- Like what I'm doing now.

(Oct.30, 2010) Sleeping very late the previous night and waking up at around 4:00 am, was something left unnoticed. I had to hit the road at around 6:00 am to get to Las Pinas City before 9 o'clock for my class. I guess it's not my feet that are pulling off the strings, but it's the Spirit that's driving me off my feet, to get excited for today's processing class on "Family Life" course. I anticipated that it's gonna be a merry-go-round session. Indeed, I was right! When I get to my seat, browsing my notes for the exam, I was overwhelmed with how much I've been learning for the past 3 months. Then, something nostalgic crept in, for a moment I thought, "this is where I should be, this is what's essential.' I thank the Lord for filling me up with His Spirit, for the wisdom to understand His Word beyond reproach, for learning so much about God's design on Marriage--- the individual roles of each family member, NOT being dictated by the society, but assigned by the Lord Himself.

During the processing class, we happened to pick the 7th scenario, which is a story of a young woman who met this really good- looking, professional young man. The man was really of good stance and the woman was easily smitten especially when he proposed after dating for a month. Both decided to get engaged to be married pretty soon. What made a twist in the story was the revelation that the seemingly perfect man, as she sees it, is addicted to gambling (horse and chicken, hahah!!!) and is not even interested in having kids of his own. These sudden discoveries during the engagement party really made a hell-of-a-slope when she called it quits. What's funny was that I got to portray the lead role opposite my beau. Perfect! I just realized that I developed a stage-fright. Nonetheless, I didn't really know what was going on at the platform until some people started teasing us after the play--- "So, when's the engagement party? One month is too fast!" Of course, I couldn't say the least other than, "'Twas just for the act", I quipped.(",)

Lesson: Pray for your God's best; Consult and Involve your parents or family; If you have God's confirmation and parents' approval, then get engaged. Remember, courtship is a process. Being in a relationship is not as easy as eating a piece of cake, so is MARRIAGE. It's a work in progress. Never rush into something just because you tend to believe that you find the Mr.or Ms.Right or that you thought for a second that it's a match made in heaven. Pray for God's will in your relationship. Don't be impulsive.

What made this day beyond merely special is NOT because my beau and I are celebrating our 5th month together as a couple but rather because of how we spent it --- unplanned and unforgettable. I just realized that we make a good team. Studying and growing together are our best bonding moments.

NEXT STOP: We went to Manila Memorial Park to visit the graves of his relatives. The place, having lots of food stalls and campers, appeared like a regular family park except that mausoleums that probably stood there for centuries or so tell its identity. It honestly is my first time getting in there and my first time spending an afternoon session with his family. For once, I'd say I had a great time NOT because I get to visit the graves of the late Senator Ninoy Aquino and former President Cory Aquino, but rather I simply enjoyed chatting, having fun with his sister's family, mom, and niece/nephews. Although I really felt tired from my morning activity since I didn't get that much rest, I felt energized and enthusiastic. It felt as if I'm just having a great time with my family in 'Davao''.

NEXT STOP: The family decided to go to San Juan City to visit the graves of his ancestors. It was interesting to know that they come from a line of people who made a great impact on Philippine History. Being in Aquinas Church left me goosebumps NOT because it looked haunted as it stood as long as the era of Spanish colonization but because it reminded me of where I came from--- my Spanish bloodline. That place seemed so creepy but I am overwhelmed by the thought that I was there, standing on the ground which made a mark on Philippine history. It's very interesting and it's totally one of the nicest places that enables reminiscing.

We ended the day having dinner at their house in Muntinlupa. 'Twas such a splendid, tiring, long day! Yet, it's all worth it!


(October 31, 2010) Woke up very early this day to attend CCF Alabang worship service with Vic as Pastor Jay Jackson delivers the message. Praise God for such an inspiring memo on "Freedom". As he stressed on Galatians 4:1-5, I've learned to stand my ground to defend my faith and to finish the race well. True enough, we'll all be tempted as often as we can possibly imagine in this lifetime, so we need Him to empower us to hold still and not go back to where we were before we met and accepted the Lord in our lives. We are in a spiritual battle, in the realm of a very spectacular race.

NEXT STOP: Spent the whole afternoon with Vic's family at their house in Posadas. After our late lunch, I read some magazines while I was watching my beau sleeping...oh my! Girls, when guys say something, pay attention and listen, because they mean what they say and they'll do it! When they stress they're hungry, believe it. When they say they're sleepy, believe it. When they say they WILL sleep, they sure will! Hahah!

NEXT STOP: I played "Family Feud" with Vic, his nephews, niece, and brother at night. We sure did have crazy fun cracking the perfect survey answers. Moreover, we(Vic and I) accompanied them to Festivall Mall for dinner. Found myself back home at around 9:00 pm.


(November 1, 2010) Nothing really BIG happened today but it's still special. Why? That's because I get to spend time with myself today, staying at home the whole day, watching tv, eating, relaxing. It's a one-of-a-kind moment indeed since I haven't done this for quite some time. It relieved me. I'm feeling energized for another working day tomorrow.

As I end this piece, I am just reminded again of how gracious the Lord is and how blessed I am. I sure do aspire for great things but as sure as He hears and grants my heart's desires, I'll take one step at a time and just FOCUS.

This has been ANNE...signing off!

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COMMENTARY: Confessions of a Shopaholic

ARE you a Gucci, Prada, LV, or Louboutin type of material girl?

Are you fond of waiting on a long line of shoppers hoping to purchase things you WANT on the BIG SALE signature shops? Do you like keeping stuffs which you rarely use? Do you often have this impulse of just spending and splurging over items you're stunned to but don't actually need? Are YOU one who's so obsessed with fancy stuffs on SALE or NOT to the point of bankruptcy and debt just to satisfy your urge to buy them?

Well, if you're answer's YES, then, you are in a BIG trouble!

Shopping could be a fun hobby especially when you're financially capable, when you're into FASHION, or even when you lack the bucks but possesses a CREDIT CARD! Like what Rebecca Bloomwood (Isla Fisher) said on the film: "What a thrill and exciting it is to have such lovely, colorful clothes, shoes, and bags. The aroma of those new items just brings nostalgia." I'm not saying that I totally agree with her but I would if I know that I'm spending on things that I like and need within the BUDGET.

When does shopping become an EVIL hobby? The cliché that goes, "Too much of something is bad enough." simply explains it. Anything, not just shopping could result to misery and distress rather than leisure and pleasure when it's overly EXCESSIVE--- redundantly exaggerated, I suppose. It could be one form of addiction, thus, we call it SHOPAHOLISM.

"An addiction is a persistent behavioural pattern marked by physical and/or psychological dependency that causes significant disruption and negatively impacts the quality of life of an organism. Addictions are frequently linked to substance abuse, particularly psychoactive drugs such as narcotics, stimulants, and sedatives among others. It is common in coloquial English usage to extend the use of the term "addiction" to also encompass apparent compulsive behavior and passionate dedication to activities (such as hobbies) by analogy."

The film "Confessions of a Shopaholic depicted such a current REALITY of life on most working gals and guys these days. The above definition on addiction--- particularly in the face of shopping--- has been clearly and relatively played in. Let me summarize the lessons learned from the movie in these 3 key points:

1. Buy only what you NEED. Shopping clothes, bags, and shoes could be fun and to some it could unravel the creativity in us by 'mixing and matching'. Not only that, in Psychology, it's a manifestation of sublimation for the overworked and distressed. But then again, some shoppers tend to purchase items that they don’t actually need, which make it uneasy and extravagant. Discern before you give in--- "do I need this? is there any chance that it'll benefit me?" . Don't think twice, think again.

2. Own a credit line only when you have SAVINGS. Applying for a credit line or possessing a credit card isn't a problem at all. Yet, the evil creeps in when you don’t use it wisely. What then is wise spending? Splurging over the things you need and exceeding the credit limit OR purchasing items you don’t need for the moment but is within your budget? Well, it’s relative and it depends. You assess. Spending within your point of payment capacity is wise enough, I’d say. No matter how convinced you are that you’ll never ever abuse your credit, it still doesn’t guarantee resistance. The only way for you to overcome your urge is to unlearn being so attached to temporal things. In the present scenario, it’s better to have more extra cash than swimming into material possessions that are of no importance at all. Perhaps, SAVINGS may still pull you out of bankruptcy when you face the same situation as the real “Lady in the Green Scarf”.

3. Utilize and maximize, stop hoarding! Some guys and gals who are compulsive enough to bid on items they are attracted to but don’t even need have the tendency to hoard stuff. I may call it “whirlwind shopping”. Do you know that unutilized things deteriorate faster than overly used up stuffs? It’s the same analogy as the experts pertain “unexercised brain tends to malfunction in a long period of idleness”. This explains why even old folks should never quit learning at the retirement period. Retirement doesn’t even mean resting and being idle, it means ‘maximizing’ spare time doing productive things as reading, writing, or gardening--- something that still stimulates the mental system. Moreover, one point here is to learn to ‘unclutter’ your closet. Try to dispose of, give away, or auction your treasure chest and simply maintain a few items in your possession. How would you even know when the item is not worth keeping? Always remember that clothes, shoes, bags, or even accessories that are in stand- by for a year are those items that you rarely intend to use. That means you don’t really need them. SOLUTION? Why not try to put your original purchases on sale. You might be surprised on how much revenue you’ll earn from too much spending. Your expense may be doubled by your income as that of Rebecca.

This movie is worth your time. Be inspired by the “Woman on the Green Scarf” by watching Confessions of a Shopaholic. You’ll be amazed by how this entertaining film could impact your financial stewardship. Besides, we all deserve to ENJOY every penny we earn, every fruit of our hard work and labor--- the point is--- Be WISE!!!